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The truth hurts

Monday, 16 April 2007

So often we are surrounded by a truth that we never properly see. We are clouded by our perception, our beliefs, our desires. I've been to Nepal 5 times but until now I've never really understood. Perhaps it was because I always had a definite return date, there was a fixed timeframe during which I could immerse myself in another world and anything was endurable because there was an end in sight. This time, the end is unclear. I don't know when I'll return. I don't know how I can support even the simple lifestyle I've grown accustomed to here. It's on to the 8th day in a row that there has not been water to even flush the toilet. The monsoon is approaching and although I collect rain water in buckets, on plastic sheets and from gutters it's barely covering the household needs for basic drinking and cooking. There are two babies living in this house and the water I collect is understandably always used for them. It's 35 degrees everyday, I'm hot, sweaty, covered in caked on dirt and grime and have contracted both conjunctivitis and a mild stomach bug. In fact, I'm so sticky that I can pick things up by touch alone. Ganesh and I walked 15km today armed with buckets in search of water, but every location was the same... water dripping out at a rate of about 1 drop per minute and a queue of at least 200 waiting for their turn to catch the drips. My ability to keep myself clean is clearly inadequate in this environment. How is it that I never fathomed the condition people live in here until now? I saw it, but I never really felt it. In actual fact it is not the physical hardship that has depressed me, but the reaction of the people around me. I'm having difficulty with social and cultural barriers and I no longer have the happy faces of the children in my classes to keep me occupied. I feel guilty everytime I think about using what little remains of my western pennies to purchase even something simple like a bottle of water to drink (the householders have developed a habit of drinking or hiding any available water when I leave the house)... I have left all of what used to matter to me, and although am now in a position where I could start something positive with the education I've been given, I have lost motivation while struggling with even obtaining a consistent supply of electricity. Yes, I understand, 8 days is nothing. And of course, I've been on many a camping trip that has lasted much longer, lived in villages with only outdoor hand pumps and no electricity at all, but this situation is not by choice, and I have neither the means nor the possibility of employment to improve the situation. I realise that I am still 1000 times better off than anyone else here. That I have the skills and the ability to change this situation. But for now, having just been hit with a proper understanding of life in Nepal I am once again speechless with awe at what some people must suffer and horrified at western excess that has caused such a disparity.

posted by genloz at 9:05 PM 0 Comments